change

it's been a couple weeks since i've looked at this blog...it's been a difficult couple weeks...i know it will all be okay because we serve a mighty God...who's plan is much better then mine could ever possibly be...
i came across this verse today “Once our eyes are opened, we can’t pretend we don’t know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows that we know and holds us responsible to act …” Proverbs 24:12

a few have asked why are you still adopting? each time i've responded with this: when the door has been opened and you see for yourself all the orphans who need homes your heart is changed forever...kent & i have been changed forever...not that we weren't good people prior to this but these past months have changed us both of us forever...God has placed a desire on our hearts to adopt...

yes, at 46 & 47 with 2 teenagers we are going to adopt an orphan...we've both found out that most don't understand WHY we are doing this...it's not our wish to make anyone understand why...the best way i describe it is when you know something deep inside you... you know it...no doubts...the inner most part of who you are knows when something is right for you...that is how kent & i feel...can we say for sure we understand it??? no, but we're 100% sure this is what God has called us to do ADOPT...it is wonderful to have such a strong conviction...unbelievable to KNOW without any hesitation that this is what we are to do...we have no idea who are daughter will be...that is another part many don't understand...we do know she will be just who God had planned for us this entire time...

the journey with pan yue was a part of the complete puzzle...pan yue has been filled us with many joyful and tearful days...on days it felt as if our hearts had been ripped out of our bodies without anesthesia...raw hurt unlike anything we've either felt before...the adoption of pan yue that began in october 2009 will end up totally different then either of us could of imagined...