mallory's birth mother

i find myself often thinking about mallory's birth mother....while reading the lost daughters of china the authors writes this "if i know nothing else about this women who gave me the gift of this beautiful child, i know this: when she cared for this baby, she cared wholeheartedly, even if it was only during her pregnancy. when she set her down, she set her down gently." mallory nor i will never know why her birth mother had to give her away...but in my heart i believe that she loved mallory very much and her circumstances (poverty,having a girl instead of a boy,pressure from family,the one child rule) who knows but her circumstances were something most of us will never have to deal with.

as the author of the lost daughters of china puts it...."abandoned" is a harsh word, and it is tempting to soften the explanation, though the "a" word is long out of the barn, used,for instance, in the official documents each girl takes away from china. it's worth noting that parents in chain who take their children to the doorstep of a police station ~ or even more bluntly, to the front door of the chinese center for adoption affairs~ hospitals, school yards, markets with every intent of getting them to care and safety, are said to "abandon" their babies. in contrast, american women who bring their infants to the attention of a social service agency are said to "give up" their children ~ and even that terminology now has given way to the gentler and more politically correct phrase, "make an adoption plan." the word 'abandoned' should be used only when it's absolutely true," "when the prom queen leaves her baby in a trash can that's truly abandoning a baby. leaving a child on the hospital steps or on the road en route to the hospital is as close as anyone can get to making an adoption plan.

when i think of mallory's birth mother i immediately tear up....
*is it because i've carried 2 children to birth?
*is it because i could never do what her birth mother had to do?
*is it because my instinct would of been to take my baby girl run as far away as i possibly could? that sounds easy doesn't it? what if you had no money, job or place to care for my newborn baby...for me that puts a totally different perspective to all the birth mothers in china...my heart cries for them.
*does she wish for an american family to adopt her baby girl?
*does she wait & watch until the baby girl she's abandoned is picked up by a stranger?
*does she want to scream, to run out of her hiding place and take her baby back?
*does she walk by the local orphanage and wonder if her baby girl is being carried for?
*does she think about "could my baby be on that bus filled with american couples coming to china to adopt a little girl?"
*does she wonder and hope that someday years from now she will see a young lady, a young lady who looks like her, coming to find her?

i will do my very best to be open with mallory about all i know or what little i know of her birth mother. i feel a closeness to mallory's birth mother, knowing i will most likely never met her...but i do know that mallory has 2 mother's that love her very much...you may ask how do you know her birth mother loved her??? this is how i know...it is very easy (and encouraged) to have an abortion in china...and she didn't...that is how i know...i'm happy she was brave enough to give birth to mallory.

yes, i do love mallory very much...that may seem strange to some especially since i've never even met mallory...i may not of met her in person yet but my heart has met her already....God has placed mallory in my heart to be her mother i can't wait to bring my baby girl "home"